{our hearts}

Crushes.

Ya know... that word you use to describe your feelings for another human being. it's more of a title. But the problem with crushes is they can be confusing, you can get hurt in situations and sometimes you are left wondering ''HOW DO I HANDLE MY HEART, BECAUSE I THINK IT WILL BURST!!!''. Now i definitely know that I've had that sentence run through my head.

But listen up ladies, because I'm about to give you my perspective on crushes.
These feelings that you may have for a special fella are completely normal.
They truly truly are. BUT, it's how you handle it and what you do with the emotions that are important. If i were to have it my way, I wouldn't of had ANY feelings for any other guy in the world until my husband came into my life. But that isn't exactly what has been happening. Although I've made many many, MANY mistakes with different crushes, I've also learned lots of lessons as well.

point 1.
I've learned that the guy you like NOW most likely isn't yours. feel free to read that again. I know it's hard to read, and it's kinda a blow to the gut, but it's true. The handsome guy you admire most likely  isn't the guy God has for you. But if only had i had that perspective with the different crushes i have had, i wouldn't of thought about them so much.  i wouldn't have obsessed over the idea of their existence or my feelings for them. Thankfully those situations didn't go to waste and God taught me many things and grew me so much.

point 2.
 I've learned that when other girls are flirty with the guy you happen to like, or even when they are SIMPLY just plain old friends with him, you have absolutely no right to be jealous. Do you know why? because they aren't our fellas. They don't belong to us. And believe me, with the girls who are just flirty it's so so sooo hard to not let that affect you. But it's possible to not let it.
Now when you enter into a relationship with a guy, then the rules change. But when you are simply just friends with him (even if you wish it was more than just that) you have to let him go and who he is friends with, and most importantly you have to let him go in God's hands.  And girl, you also have to let that jealousy go.  I realized that when we become so obsessed with the idea of our crush, we naturally become protective. But sometimes this means accusing even our own dear friends of being a flirt or too friendly, when in most cases, they aren't doing anything wrong. They just are simply being ''his'' friend. Jealousy absolutely rips friendships apart. It's not classy, girlfriend. It makes us think the worst of people and their intentions and often clouds our perspective of them. I've been on the receiving end of this and it hurts so incredibly much, and maybe you've been on the receiving end of this too! if you have, remember that your identity is in CHRIST, and what he says about you and what he thinks is more important than anyone's perspective. Sometimes, you really could be the flirt and it needs to change, but sometimes girls can simply be threatened by you. Don't let that bring you down sunshine! you are his, let him define the situation.
Okay, going back to my point. Learn to pray. If you are dealing with jealousy regarding a crush and how he's being treated, ask our heavenly Daddy to take it away from your heart and to have him give his perspective. Always ask for his perspective, because i promise you, a good amount of the time OUR hearts are in the wrong place.  It hurts to see that, but remember sweet thing, you learn from your mistakes.

 point 3.

You most likely have an amazing future husband out there, and HOW EXCITING is that? like just think about it!! but that means the boy you are obsessing over most likely isn't your guy. If your future husband was able to read your thoughts and heart, and he saw how you absolutely loved this guy, and you dwelled on him day and night, you daydreamed about him (to the point where it was unhealthy) how would he feel? would he feel honored?  again, being attracted to someone is perfectly natural. BUT it's what you DO with the feelings and emotions that are important.  Are you striving to honor your future husband with your thoughts and your heart? especially while you have an admiration for a guy? (i want you guys to know i'm convicted in every one of these areas :O so you aren't alone)  I feel like if we don't have the right perspective on crushes, the enemy can use them to distract us, to trap us, and to hurt us. It's when we have feelings for a fella that we should be on guard to protect our thoughts and emotions. But it's not something we can do on our own, it's something we need alot of help in. Ask Jesus, because i think soooo many times he's just waiting to help his daughters in this area <3 He is so gracious when we mess up, and so so so good at redeeming things.

point 4.
Pursue Jesus, and not the guy you admire.

Now sometimes us girls want to give the guy we admire a hint about our affections. Or we really would just love for them to pursue us, so we feel the need to take things into our own hands and make things happen. Whether it's telling the guy about our feelings, or basically chasing him around until he finally understands where your HEART stands. Sweet friend, i think this is one of the biggest mistakes we could make. Because us taking initiative when it's not our job is taking away the guys job, and it's also sorta saying we aren't trusting Jesus in this area. It's saying he's not capable of moving mountains in the areas where we need/want him to.  We are basically throwing our hearts out in the cold winter hoping to have a guy bring our heart back to us with returned feelings. But what if he doesn't feel the same? sometimes pursing guys can just freak them out and make them WANT to run away,  not run toward us. We really are doing more damaged than good.  And the sad truth is we don't realize that until the heartache comes. I know patience is so hard, but I believe waiting on God's timing is perfect.
I've learned that the only possible way that i can honor my future husband in my single years, and when i do have feelings for a guy, is if I'm chasing Jesus with my WHOLE heart. We have to be spending time in his presence, constantly guarding our hearts and mind and dwelling on Jesus Christ instead of the guy. Otherwise our feelings will consume us. Jesus knows our desires. He knows that we long to have a special someone to send us sweet notes and to have someone be our #1 swing dance partner. He knows every longing in our heart, but before our own love story unfolds, we have to be chasing him. The more we press into God, the more satisfied our souls are in him. HIS LOVE IS ENOUGH. i promise <3 i know, because I've experienced it to the fullest. Someday (if it's in God's will) we will have a guy that will sweep us off of our feet. Someone who will push us to love Jesus MORE. But they will fail us. They will hurt us. Because they too are human, and they too mess up. I'm glad we can all be in a big circle together earning the title ''The people who've mess up group''. When we are so in love with Jesus Christ it displays in our lives. And our guys out there (whoever they are<3) will see that. There is no need for any chasing on our end. Take a deep breath, and let it go in God's hands.
Our heart for Christ should be displayed enough for any guy after God's own heart to see. AND THAT will be what he's attracted to. Not your outward appearance, or your quirky laugh. Those things he will be attracted to, yes, but that all comes after what he sees on the inside. That reveals the type of guy he is. Now if your crush is a flirt himself, or flirts with other girls who are just as flirty, sweet sister that says SOOOO much about what kind of a guy he is. He's not the kind of guy you want attention from. A true gentlemen is honorable towards the ladies around him. He's the kind of guy that is concerned about girls hearts, and wants to protect them. Guys like this do exist and it's a privilege to know some of them . I want encourage you ladies to pray for your crush, but also pray for his future wife out there. Praying with this mindset really puts things into perspective and helps keep your heart in the right place.

Your worth is in Jesus Christ. It doesn't come from the boy you like, especially  if he does/doesn't  returns the feelings. It doesn't come from compliments or charming personalities, it comes from the truest Love of all.

Keep hanging in there sweet sister.
If any of you need encouragement or would like prayer just email me at;(sincerelyrosiedarling@gmail.com)


Sincerely,
Katherine Rose