As i sit here, with my tea at hand and bible open, I'm afraid I'm a at a loss for words as to where i should even begin. God has been doing so much in my heart and in my life. Lot's and lot's of conditioning for my soul, as a dancer would go through conditioning to strengthen muscles and increase flexibility. ......... {God knows what it will take to grow us}.
I am so very grateful for him growing my frail beating heart, but sometimes the process just hurts. alot.
''And Moses said to the people,
''Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today you shall not see again. The Lord will {fight for you,} and you only have to {be still and silent}''.
Exodus 14: 13-14
That verse was sent to me by a spiritual mentor a few weeks ago. It didn't quite make sense in the moment i received the verse, but a couple days later the Lord opened my ears to hear and my eyes to see that this was truly from the Lord. I've been going through a season of learning that Love isn't fair. That loving someone who has hurt you or left you actually doesn't feel good. Why? because not only does it go against our flesh, but we are also humans that go off of feelings. And we also go off of fairness, which means if we don't receive the same thing in return, then why would we give it back? But friends, how are we displaying the Gospel through this mentality? Christ was murdered for us, the very same people who spat in his face and called for his death. He was most certainly not receiving the same type of love in return. And he didn't received the same type of love from ME until i discovered his love for me. It was always there, but my spiritual eyes and ears were too blinded to see until the Lord allowed me to see. I had just turned 13 years old, and while i was crying on my bedroom floor i was listening to a song talking about the Love of the father. I realized that love wasn't just for others to receive, but it was for me. It broke my heart that i had just realized what the Father really did for me. Since the day i was born he was in constant pursuit of me. And since the day YOU were born he has been in constant pursuit of you.
How does that feel? to know the creator that breathed the stars into place is in love with you. And he wants your heart. He wants you to see just how much he desires to have your heart, and if your heart is broken like mine, then he wants those pieces as well.
See, it wasn't until i allowed him to move in my heart and allow him to ravish his love upon me, that i didn't how we are required to love those (including the ones that have hurt us). When the father allows us to go through such hurt in relationships, or in friendships it gives an opportunity for his gospel to be demonstrated. Whether restoration is on the horizon or not.
“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love (hesed) for you will not be shaken” Isaiah 54:10.
So let us trust, that God is fighting on our behalf. We never have to seek justice for ourselves, we can simply trust that he can and will fight for us.
With love,
Katherine Rose
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