The meeting}

My eyes awaken to a reflection of orange coloring my walls. I roll out of bed, putting a shawl over my shoulders, bare feet running through the freshly wet grass from the morning dew. I sit underneath the big oak tree that has been there since the beginning of my childhood. Before the beat of my heart took place in my story.
Strands of my wild curls frame my face in a wispy, untouched way. Before my eyes,  a scene of beauty is taking place. A representation of the promise. The sun rose, and the sky was painted with beautiful pinks, and arranged the quilt like sky in a colorful, vibrant pattern.
My heart leaped as I heard a whisper to my heart.
My precious King called to meet me. As fresh as the dew in the early dark of the morning, so is His presence to me. Fresh.  I answered His invitation.

My heart stopped.

He is here.

Before the world awakes, He puts on a beautiful show just for me. He woes my heart with His song that He sings over me. I close my eyes. The air representing His breath. His presence. I hug tight to the warm feeling I experience as I tug the shawl tightly around my arms. I'm embraced in the comfort of His love. Forever and always. No striving, no need to impress Him, He just takes me as I am.

He sees past the messy curls, the blemishes on my untouched face.

He whispers in a soft breath,

"Beloved, every morning My mercies are anew. I desire, I long to breath my life into your lungs. To be the beat of your heart. To let your eyes see how much, how deep, and how wide My love is for you. Will you grab My hand? I would like to show you something"

I partake in His invitation. As I grab His strong hand He leads me down a path I've never been down before.  The path was graced with overgrown wildflowers, some as tall as Him.  He eventually led me to a hill that overlooked a lush valley. We stopped, then He looked at me.

"If you choose to follow the path i have for you, the most beautiful treasures will unfold in your life, my Beloved Katherine. My faithfulness has been etched into your life before you were even born. My best for you, is the best of the best. I will never force that on you. My invitation to you is to become a warrior, a princess for my kingdom. To fight the good fight, and to wait for a man who will be willing to fight the fight with you. He can't just be any man, my daughter. He must be equipped, He must be prepared for this calling. Many will try and keep up with you, but only I am capable of equipping the right man to run along side of you. To run even further ahead of you. Do you believe me, that as your Father, i want what's best for you?"

"Yes Daddy, i know you know what's best for me" i said.

He grinned widely. "Then will you let go? let go of all your hopes and dreams and take me as your hope and dream? will you allow me to become your all in all? to fill every bit of your heart to the point where all you are focused on is me?" 

I teared up at the words He was saying. That was the cry of my heart. To fall in love with Him to the point where that was all i focused on.

"oh how i want that.. i want that more than anything!"  i said.

"Give me your heart my beloved. I will never force you to give it to me, but i will always ask for it. let me be your protector. Hand over the situations that have broken you, let me be the guard over your heart. You are my daughter, and I want what I have planned for you to unfold in such a way where you have no doubt I have been in control from the beginning. It may not always make sense. But the most important thing to cling to in those moments is the knowledge that you have of my character. That my plans are to shower my goodness over you. Let me mend the heartache".

I collapsed into His arms. To have someone know me better than anyone ever will was the best comfort I could feel. I looked within my heart to see the times I settled. Oh how I so desperately wanted something to work. I would cling to the thread in the hopes of it forming fabric. But He never was using thread. He was using paint to create a beautiful painting of my life. I was never meant to carry the paintbrush.  Why was it so scary for me to let go sometimes ? why did I battle with remembering that He was all I ever needed? That was when I knew I couldn't carry my heart any longer. It was far to beaten up from my own doubt, from being chased after by things that took advantage of me. I felt like prey, but here my Daddy, my King, was offering to protect me forever. He was promising me that I would always be loved, cared for.

I exhaled deeply. I looked up into His eyes.

"I will give you my heart Daddy. Even when I try and take it back, remind me that it belongs with you. I trust you. You are faithful even when I'm faithless.  I don't know what lays ahead of me. I don't know what struggles or challenges I will have to encounter. I feel unequipped, and even directionless at times. but I know you will be my strength and my source of direction. Here I am, use me in any way you see fit. I'm a broken vessel, but I'm not broken when I'm with you. I'm whole. I'm complete, all because of you"

We both stood, overlooking the valley for quite some time. The breeze was sweet to the taste. I knew it was a small glimpse of what heaven would be like.


My heart was finally in His hands.